The realm of dating and romantic relationships can be a tricky one for those in their golden years. If you’re single or widowed, you may have considered the prospect of dating but feel unsure for a number of reasons. Here are some questions you might ask yourself:
- Are romantic relationships important to me as I grow older? Why or why not?
- Who do I currently turn to for social support? Is it enough?
- If not, what can I do to improve that? How do I strengthen my current relationships?
- If I’m widowed, how can I address the issue of dating with my children?
In this post, we’ll consider two common issues facing seniors who want to date: the concerns of their adult children, and how to cope with the complications of senior dating.
Addressing Your Children’s Concerns
In a survey conducted by the Home Instead Senior Care® network, only 28% of adult children surveyed would be comfortable talking with a parent about sex if the parent became single. Approximately 39% would be comfortable talking about dating. This doesn’t need to be a source of contention or awkwardness, however.
As their parents age, many adult children can be resistant to any romance in their parent’s lives. Consider why they might struggle with this idea. For example, your children probably grew up viewing you and your husband/wife as a team that made their lives complete and happy. Seeing you alone can be difficult for them. In addition, they might see your desire to date as a betrayal of their other parent.
Oftentimes they’re resistant to the concept because they want to protect you. Perhaps you were extremely heartbroken when you divorced or when your spouse passed on. One of the worst things for children to experience is seeing their parents devastated. It is only natural that they want to prevent this from happening again.
Don’t be afraid to talk candidly with them. Acknowledge their concerns, but remind them that you’re an adult who is allowed to make your own decisions. They’ll likely appreciate that you understand their feelings, which will help them worry less.
The Difficulties of a New Relationship – and How to Face Them
Even if you have a strong desire to form new relationships, you might think, “I’m too old for this!” You’re not alone, though. Others are going through the same thought processes. And the people you’re looking for will understand what it means to be a senior interested in dating. You already have that in common! Camaraderie is important to a happy life, and having a romantic partner who knows the same struggles can bring you a lot of peace.
Remember, you don’t need to go out and immediately find someone to remarry. Many senior daters would be quite happy to have someone to go to restaurants with, and have companionship when they want it, but are satisfied to keep their lives just as they are. You set the parameters of what you really want.
Creating strong social support is the first step, and an important part of your life, whether it leads to romance or not. Get out of the house, make new friends, and try new things to build your confidence. You never know what sort of joy you might feel when you end up finding a new hobby!
Your age and that of a potential partner plays an important role. If you have health issues that could affect the relationship, then be honest about it. It’s natural for health to deteriorate as we age, and they’ll understand that. Likely they have some health concerns themselves! You can both agree to focus on the positive and enjoy getting to know your new companion.
Practical matters do need to be considered over time. If things get serious, you should discuss with them their feelings about facing upcoming challenges together. Start the conversation early. Who will care for both of you when you can no longer do so yourself? Where will you live? By planning ahead, you greatly increase your chances of happiness and satisfaction.
Senior dating can be a wonderful thing for many people. It helps them remember that despite age and health problems, they’re still here and there’s plenty of life to enjoy yet! Don’t be afraid to consider the possibility.
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