Constructive Conversations:
Let’s Talk about Estate and Financial Planning
Felicia Junstunen, Director of Care Management
Elder Care Management hosts educational events throughout the Sacramento region. Here are three for March and April.
March 11, Tuesday, at 10:30 am
“Compassionate Communication for Aging Families”
on Zoom, hosted by Del Oro CRC as part of the Kaiser education series
Register at www.tinyurl.com/KA031125
March 17, Monday, 9am to 1:30 pm
Sun City Roseville Senior Resource Fair
Elder Care Management will host an information table
April 9, Wednesday, at 10:00 am
“Successful Aging: It Takes a Plan”
Davis Senior Center: 646 A Street, Davis
Register at www.tinyurl.com/ECM040925
Last month we introduced our newsletter series for the year: turning difficult topics in aging families into constructive conversations. Most people agree that talking about their estate and especially finances is one of the most difficult issues to broach. Our money and how we manage it is a sensitive topic and typically a very private aspect of our lives, so it stands to reason that it is a hard topic to discuss with family members. However, care managers observe that those who take the initiative early on in their aging family’s journey to boldly enter conversation about this topic tend to report greater satisfaction and overall success later, when that information becomes vital. For those who own any property or have any assets to manage, the estate plan will influence their wellbeing as they age and impact their designated agents if they are called to act on their behalf.
Facilitating a constructive conversation about the topic of financial planning starts with a purposeful approach- the desire to understand the means available for care as the older adult ages. There may be some education necessary for all family members to understand the cost of care, the expectations of where and how care will be accessed, and how assets might impact access to benefits. These are all questions that can be used to enter the conversation in a constructive and purposeful manner. Purposeful discussions can help clarify expectations about who is designated to represent the interests of the older adult when they need assistance managing their financial affairs. Talking about some typical scenarios can be a springboard for discussion: if you are hospitalized, who will pay your bills? This one question can cascade into many others to help unpack the estate plans that are in place, or not. Be prepared to thoughtfully listen, avoid judging, and remain intentional in your quest to keep the conversation constructive. There are times when third party resources may be helpful to carry a message of concern and support a constructive conversation. A trusted friend, physician, or clergy member may be effective in supporting the importance of a discussion. Leaning on the expertise of others can provide the assurance of objectivity- especially in financial matters.
Several years ago, Elder Care Management was engaged to provide support for a couple, John and Karen*. John was living with dementia, and his wife Karen was his sole caregiver. Their only relative, Kathy, lived many states away and was herself caring for an ill husband. Kathy was concerned because she had no understanding of John and Karen’s estate plan, a limited understanding of their resources, and had recently learned of another distant relative who had been defrauded of their estate because of lack of oversight. Kathy recognized John and Karen were vulnerable but knew she could not be solely responsible for assisting them. She planned a visit with the couple and in advance contacted a reputable licensed fiduciary and arranged a meeting with Karen. Together, Kathy and the fiduciary helped Karen discuss the couple’s estate planning, and assisted her to put other supports in place, including fiduciary services and care management. Kathy had the assurance of a professional team to safeguard John and Karen, and the couple benefitted from local support as their aging journey continued.
Discussions about financial and estate planning can be challenging, but positive outcomes are more likely when conversations happen early on, ahead of crisis or health decline. This strategy provides older adults with the opportunity to clearly state their plans and decisions to their designated agents and provides an opportunity for family members to help if those plans have not been clearly developed. Families may also benefit from the expertise of neutral third parties to help discuss this topic or provide the professional objectivity required in some estate planning discussions. Talking about money may not be easy but conversations that lead to well thought out plans are priceless.
All aspects of planning for your future are important, but considering your financial choices should be one of your top priorities. Some put it off, thinking, “There’s still plenty of time.” However, it’s never too early to deliberate the options you have, make a plan, set goals, and be prepared.