• November 18, 2025 /  Basics, Difficult Conversations

    By Felicia Juntunen, Director of Care Management at Elder Care Management

    “No one has taught us how to act or what to say when someone dies. More important, no one has taught us what it feels like to grieve. We don’t know how to heal the hurt created by grief or how to live with it.”- Barbara Karnes, RN,

    My Friend, I Care: The Grief Experience

    As Aging Life Care Professionals, our work and service to aging individuals and their families frequently intersect with experiences of loss and the grief that accompanies it. We recognize the profound and varied impact grief has- on our clients, their families, and ourselves- and remain committed to fostering healthy coping and resilience following loss.

    Discussions about death and grief are often among the most challenging we encounter. As Barbara Karnes observes, few of us have been taught how to respond to death or how to grieve. By deepening our understanding of the nature of grief- its expressions, complexities, and effects- we can better facilitate constructive conversations that honor individual experiences and support the healing process.

    Understanding the Dimensions of Grief

    Grief is both universal and deeply personal. It is not confined to emotional pain alone but influences all aspects of human well-being:

    • Emotional: sadness, anger, guilt, relief, anxiety, loneliness
    • Cognitive: difficulty concentrating, decision-making challenges
    • Behavioral: withdrawal, restlessness, or disruption of daily routines
    • Social: isolation or diminished engagement with others
    • Physical: sleep disturbance, appetite change, chest / stomach discomfort
    • Spiritual: loss or renewal of faith, questioning meaning and purpose

    It is also important to recognize anticipatory grief- the process of mourning a loss before it occurs. This experience is quite common among caregivers, particularly those supporting loved ones with progressive conditions such as dementia. Anticipatory grief is often complex, as individuals navigate the dual experience of holding on while beginning to let go.

    The commonly referenced stages of grief- denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and acceptance– represent potential emotional responses rather than a prescribed sequence. Grief is not linear, and there is no uniform progression. Each individual’s journey is unique and influenced by their personal, relational, and cultural context.

    Facilitating Constructive Conversations About Grief

    Supporting individuals and families through grief requires sensitivity, patience, and a willingness to engage in authentic dialogue. Conversations about loss can evolve into meaningful opportunities for connection when guided by three key principles:

    • Pace: Acknowledge that each person’s grief journey is distinct. Healing unfolds over time and cannot be rushed or standardized.
    • Presence: Offer genuine presence without an agenda. Simply being with someone in their grief- listening attentively and empathetically- can be deeply comforting.
    • Permission: Provide opportunities for individuals to speak about their loved one, to share stories, and to express the full range of emotions associated with grief. Encourage healthy outlets for expression and connection to supportive resources.

    Sources of Support

    Encouraging individuals to access support can greatly enhance their ability to cope and adapt following a loss. Helpful resources may include:

    • Family members and close friends
    • Hospice bereavement and aftercare services
    • Faith-based or spiritual communities
    • Peer and community support groups
    • Licensed grief counselors or therapists

    Moving Forward

    “Healing the wound of grief is allowing ourselves to feel the pain, to recognize ‘I’m missing her,’ to cry, to experience the intensity of the moment and then to move on. We wipe our eyes, dust ourselves off and move forward into living the day. We know the pain will come again. It will be felt and experienced again. We will move forward again, and on and on.”- Barbara Karnes, RN

    Grief is an evolving process rather than an endpoint. Through compassion, understanding, and open communication, Aging Life Care Professionals can play a vital role in helping individuals and families navigate loss while continuing to find meaning, purpose, and connection in life.

     

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  • October 21, 2025 /  Basics, Difficult Conversations

    By Felicia Juntunen, Director of Care Management at Elder Care Management

    In previous newsletters, we’ve explored how families can transform challenging discussions into constructive conversations. One of the most sensitive topics in aging families is end-of-life care- a subject many find difficult to approach. As Aging Life Care professionals, we believe that informed families are better equipped to navigate these moments with compassion and clarity.

    Understanding what matters most to the older adult, recognizing the signs of frailty, and knowing what resources are available all contribute to meaningful conversations and supportive decision-making.

    From Curative to Comfort Care: Asking the Right Questions

    Changes in medical technology and cultural attitudes have reshaped how families think about health care and end-of-life decisions. It’s essential to ask questions that help clarify the older adult’s values and goals:

    • Will medical procedures prolong life at the expense of quality?
    • Is the goal to live longer- or to live better?

    Early conversations about personal preferences help guide families later, especially if they’re called upon to make decisions on behalf of their loved one. Care managers emphasize the importance of documenting preferences through advance directives, designating a decision-maker, and ensuring that person understands the older adult’s wishes.

    Recognizing Frailty: A Signal to Reassess Care

    Families often wonder when it’s time to shift the approach to care. Frailty is a key indicator. Aging Life Care professionals frequently work with individuals in their 80s and 90s, helping families assess whether medical interventions will truly benefit their loved one.

    Signs of increasing frailty include:

    • Sleeping more than being awake
    • Difficulty rising from a chair
    • Moderate to advanced dementia
    • Trouble swallowing and significant weight loss

    When frailty is present, the likelihood of recovery from surgery or invasive procedures diminishes. In these cases, care managers often encourage families to speak with medical providers about adjusting goals and being selective with the care they pursue.

    Understanding Support Options: Palliative and Hospice Care

    Early awareness of supportive care options helps families prepare for transitions when the focus shifts from prolonging life to preserving comfort and dignity.

    Palliative care provides relief from symptoms and stress at any stage of a serious illness. It can be delivered alongside curative treatments and is often provided through clinic visits, virtual care, or occasional home visits.

    Hospice care is designed for individuals with a life expectancy of six months or less. It focuses on comfort rather than cure and is delivered by an interdisciplinary team that addresses physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Hospice care is available 24/7 and can be provided wherever the patient resides.

    Building a Foundation for Constructive Conversations

    Families can foster more compassionate and informed end-of-life discussions by:

    • Understanding the older adult’s preferences
    • Recognizing the impact of frailty
    • Becoming familiar with palliative and hospice care resources

    These strategies help families make decisions that honor their loved one’s values and promote dignity in care.

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  • September 8, 2025 /  Basics, Miscelleaneous

    By Felicia Juntunen, Director of Care Managment, at Elder Care Management in Sacramento, CA.

    Throughout this year’s series, we’ve explored many challenging conversations that aging families face. One of the most emotionally charged topics is the idea of moving an older adult from their long-time home to a new setting.

    Home represents more than a physical space- it’s a symbol of autonomy, familiarity, and comfort. For older adults, especially those who have lived in their homes for decades, the prospect of leaving can feel deeply unsettling. Recognizing and honoring these emotions is crucial to maintaining constructive and respectful conversations. Proactive discussions about the possibility of a move- before a crisis occurs- can help families prepare thoughtfully and collaboratively.

    When Is It Time to Consider a Move?

    Aging Life Care professionals often support families through transitions between home and care settings. While there’s no universally “right” time to move, several factors may signal that it’s worth exploring:

    • Health needs exceed what can be managed at home
    • Safety concerns arise due to mobility or cognitive decline
    • Isolation begins to affect the quality of life
    • Home maintenance becomes burdensome
    • Financial strain makes in-home care unsustainable

    Care managers encourage families to plan ahead by educating themselves about various care levels, associated costs, and available services. Consulting with local placement professionals can also help tailor decisions to the individual’s needs and preferences. Early education and open dialogue foster realistic expectations and informed choices- especially around finances and care requirements.

    A Real-Life Example: Elizabeth’s Story

    Elizabeth*, a longtime Elder Care Management client, lived in her home for over 30 years. She and her husband had chosen it with the intention of aging in place. After his passing, Elizabeth continued to enjoy her independence- gardening, driving to church, and staying active in her community.

    In her mid-80s, however, her health began to decline, and maintaining the home became difficult. Her family, noticing the signs, gently initiated a conversation about assisted living. Elizabeth wasn’t ready to commit but agreed to consider it. When she stopped driving, her isolation increased, prompting deeper discussions. With the help of a care manager, Elizabeth and her family found a community that matched her lifestyle and needs. Because the conversation had started early, Elizabeth was able to participate fully in the decision-making process- preserving her autonomy and dignity.

    Planning Ahead for Constructive Outcomes

    Most older adults wish to remain at home as long as possible, and families often want to honor that desire. The key to successful planning lies in:

    • Early conversations about preferences and care needs
    • Acknowledging the difference between expectations and reality
    • Educating oneself about housing options and resources

    By leaning on the expertise of Aging Life Care professionals, families can turn a difficult topic into a constructive, empowering dialogue- one that respects the older adult’s values while preparing for future needs.

    *names have been changed to protect client identities

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  • May 6, 2024 /  Basics, Special Needs

    I have worked with Elder Care Management since 2015 and support their advocacy for
    my clients as well as other fiduciaries’ clients. For questions regarding trainings,
    community events, and supporting May as National Aging Life Care Month, contact
    Maureen Lawrence at maureen@eldercm.com

    Hoarding and Older Adults

    By Felecia Juntunen, Director of Elder Care Management – Posted May 2024

    Among the challenges that confront Aging Life Care professionals, working with a client
    who has hoarding behaviors is one of the most perplexing. Families may engage a care
    manager when they’ve discovered an aging parent or loved one’s safety and well-being
    are jeopardized by excessive clutter in their home. In our practice, we have encountered
    situations with varying degrees of hoarding: from a client who collected shopping bags
    full of drugstore items that were never unpacked or used, to those whose homes were
    impassable because of many saved items including garbage and old food. A care
    manager’s task in these circumstances is multifold as they work to address the needs of
    their client while also helping families or other concerned individuals understand how the
    issue can be addressed. Care managers collaborate with other service providers to
    discern how and when to intervene in a hoarding situation, how to overcome an
    individual’s resistance to help, and how to evaluate whether the hoarding behavior is a
    choice or the result of diminished capacity.

    In her article, “Hoarding and Elders: Current Trends, Dilemmas, & Solutions,” Emily Saltz
    explains the basic tenets of hoarding behavior. Hoarding behavior typically begins early
    in life – usually by the time a person is adolescent, and it can take years or decades to
    develop until it becomes an obstacle to functional living. A central characteristic of
    hoarding is continuously bringing items into one’s home – whether with excessive
    purchases or collecting random items. Those with hoarding tendencies cannot categorize
    or organize their belongings and are disabled by the thought of discarding or parting with
    an item. They typically have little or no insight into the problem and experience significant
    denial about their situation. People who hoard may be prone to experience depression,
    social phobia, isolation, anxiety, or substance abuse. Hoarding is further complicated by
    aging. The effects of chronic illness, physical and mental decline, and increased isolation
    compound the problem. When dementia is present, hoarding can present a significant
    obstacle to health and safety as those with dementia are even less able to differentiate
    the importance of items or deal with the effects of their hoarding.

    While the cause of hoarding behavior can vary from individual to individual, it is
    understood that previous trauma and unresolved grief are common driving factors. Those
    who hoard receive emotional comfort from acquiring items and have a compulsive need
    to control and manage their belongings. It’s important to understand that denial is a
    prime characteristic of those who hoard and presents a formidable obstacle to treatment.
    Hoarders would prefer to live in a cluttered and unsafe space than forfeit their
    possessions. There is no easy solution for hoarding and current forms of treatment have
    limited success. It is now recognized that the forced removal of possessions without an
    individual’s permission can cause feelings of violation and additional trauma. Care
    managers tend to concentrate their efforts on what is referred to as a harm reduction
    approach – focusing on helping the individual with hoarding tendencies to live more safely
    rather than eliminating the hoarding.

    Providing compassionate support begins with the hallmark of quality care management:
    a good assessment. Aging Life Care professionals will screen for capacity and consult with
    other professionals for an objective and clinical perspective. Determining if the person is
    legally competent to choose their lifestyle is critical in determining how to mitigate any
    issues created by their hoarding. The goal is to protect the autonomy of the individual
    (their fundamental right to their own decision-making) and balance that with their
    safety. Developing a trusting relationship with the person who hoards is essential to any
    success in working with them toward some resolution. As trust develops, care managers
    can encourage treatment for underlying conditions like depression and anxiety. When
    empathy is conveyed that respects the individual and the meaning of their possessions,
    goals can be developed that enable them to maintain a sense of personal control as they
    collaborate with the care manager to improve their safety and wellbeing.

    Saltz, Emily B., “Hoarding and Elders: Current Trends, Dilemmas, and Solutions.”
    Journal of Geriatric Care Management, Fall 2010, pp. 4-9.

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